Be a Leader, Be a Learner, Be a Friend: How the White Family Turned Loss into Hope

"Be a leader. Be a learner. Be a friend."

That was the phrase Bruce and Beth White said to their three children every morning before school. It's simple enough to say in five seconds and big enough to build a life on, which is exactly why it stuck. That phrase had never been tested quite like it was in April 2022, when Bruce was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Bruce had complained about swelling in his ankles enough that he couldn't wear the cowboy boots he practically lived in. A scan found blood clots in both calves. He went on a blood thinner, and life went on. It seemed explainable.

Then came Easter Sunday. Beth and Bruce were at Brush Creek Ranch, the luxury guest ranch the White family owns in Saratoga, Wyoming, sitting together when her phone lit up. "Is Dad OK? He just sent a text that doesn't make any sense," cautioned her son Conner. Beth looked at the family group chat and saw it herself: a message half in garbled all-caps, from a man who was, in her words, meticulous about punctuation. It wasn't like him. Not even a little.

They flew back to Chicago. True to form, Bruce went straight into a near full day of meetings. When he finally came out, he told Beth he felt "a little fuzzy." An MRI was already on the calendar, and it turned out to be the appointment that changed everything. The doctor took one look at the images and sent them straight to the emergency room.

The diagnosis was a small stroke, and pancreatic cancer - inoperable, and already advanced. Bruce's first words to Beth weren't about himself. They were about his family, and about the people who depended on him. That instinct - leader, learner, friend, in that order, even in the worst moment of his life - never left him.

To learn more about Bruce's life, you can read his biography (Hospitalitarian) or watch a documentary about his life and company (Begin With the End in Mind) - both available at https://www.whitelodging.com/about/our-founder.

Brush Creek Ranch hosts Cowgirl Up, a weekend built around female camaraderie - women gathering in their best western wear for community, connection, and a shared sense of purpose.

This year, a portion of the weekend's proceeds went to PanCAN; the family's foundation matched those funds dollar-for-dollar, raising more than $200,000.

What inspired you to create your fundraiser?

Our commitment to raising funds for PanCAN is deeply personal. Hosting the event at Brush Creek Ranch, the place Bruce loved most, felt right. A portion of every Cowgirl Up ticket goes to PanCAN, and the White Family Foundation matches those contributions.

What were a few highlights from your event?

One of the most memorable highlights of the Cowgirl Up retreat was the inspiring community that came together in support of PanCAN's mission. Throughout the weekend, guests formed meaningful friendships with fellow women who shared a common purpose, fostering encouragement and support.

We were also honored to welcome incredible speakers, Laurie MacCaskill and Sarah Wragge, who shared personal stories about pancreatic cancer, professional nutrition and health expertise, and uplifting perspectives that left attendees feeling empowered and inspired

Another standout aspect of the retreat was the opportunity to reconnect with oneself through the magic of Brush Creek Ranch. From mindful movement and restorative activities to time spent outdoors embracing the peace of nature, guests found moments of reflection, renewal and healing.

What is a word of encouragement you want to share with others turning their pain into passion?

It's not one word, but a phrase that has deep meaning to our family. It turns out that "Be a leader, be a learner, and be a friend" is as good a guide for grief as it is for anything else. Be a leader: don't wait for someone else to turn the loss into something. Be a learner: let the disease teach you what to fight for, and fight smart. Be a friend: show up for the next family who gets the diagnosis you got, because we need as much help and support as we can get.

Even in life's most difficult moments, there is an opportunity to create hope, inspire others and make a lasting impact.

What would you say to other people who give to PanCAN? Why is giving to PanCAN important?

While every cancer deserves research and support, pancreatic cancer remains one of the most urgent challenges in oncology. We all know that it is extremely difficult to detect early, and there is currently no widely available screening test for the general population. Most patients are diagnosed only after the cancer has spread, when treatment options are more limited. By giving, you are investing in the search for treatments and a cure. At the same time, you're helping to ensure that no one faces pancreatic cancer alone.