A father shares about pregnancy loss during one of two Carle Health events on Oct. 15

Little Ophelia was their first baby. After several rounds of in vitro fertilization, Rachael and Ty Hudson felt like it was finally their turn.

"We wanted to be parents for many years," Rachael said. "We were over the moon with excitement."
Sadly, Rachael became ill with pregnancy complications that included preeclampsia, fluid buildup in her lungs and what doctors said was peripartum cardiomyopathy, or near heart failure. Little Ophelia was stillborn 18 weeks of gestation.

"We could create beautiful embryos, but I could not carry them to full term," Rachael said.
Ty said, "I remember being in the hospital with Rachael and feeling like I was standing in an emotional puddle."

For the first time, the father's side of pregnancy loss will be part of the annual Shining Light Infant Memorial ceremony in Urbana. Ty will be sharing his perspective of the emotional journey he and Rachael experienced during the in-person event on Oct. 15 inside The Forum on the Carle Foundation Hospital campus, 611 W. Park St. Starting at 6 p.m. families, including siblings, may decorate luminaries for the babies they are remembering.

Ty will be speaking during a memorial ceremony starting at 7 p.m. in Pollard Auditorium at The Forum. Those unable to attend in person may livestream the ceremony, which includes reading names of babies lost.

The Hudsons have attended the ceremony multiple times as part of their healing and an engraved brick paver purchased by their friends to remember Ophelia is part of the infant memorial garden on the hospital campus. "This is a great way to give back to a celebration that has given us so much," he said. "To have her name read aloud is a very powerful moment."

Also, on Oct. 15 in Normal, a Shining Light Infant Memorial in-person event will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at the Chapel Garden of Carle BroMenn Medical Center, 1304 Franklin Ave. Families may decorate luminaries in remembrance of their loved one(s) and stroll through the luminated remembrance path. During this time, the names of babies will be read aloud as requested by families. Members of the Spiritual Care and Mother Baby Unit will be there for needed support.

If a couple that experienced loss of a pregnancy or infant asked for advice, Rachael said she would tell them not to turn away from one another because of the struggle. "Grief will evolve over time. It is unexpressed love."

After 13 years of marriage, the Hudsons now have a 3-month-old rainbow baby, Hannah, thanks to Rachael's sister serving as their gestational carrier. They also have several embryos in waiting.

Families may join the Hudsons in person or livestream the ceremony where Ty will be speaking in Urbana on Oct. 15. Families closer to Normal, may join the in-person event at the Chapel Garden of Carle BroMenn Medical Center on Oct. 15. Carle Health perinatal bereavement services provide ongoing sensitive and holistic care to families who experience loss.

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Tags: baby, Carle BroMenn Medical Center, Carle Foundation Hospital, infant loss, pregnancy loss,