UWL’s Christy Wopat turns grief and empathy into award-winning books

UWL's Christy Wopat turns grief and empathy into award-winning books

When Christy Wopat was a middle school teacher, she began every school year with the same promise: "I will love these kids no matter what."

That pledge meant seeing each student not through preconceived ideas or past reputations, but for who they truly were.

Still, as new students walked through her classroom door, Wopat noticed a familiar trend. One "bad kid" or a few "bad kids" were already labeled as troublemakers. Once branded as the "bad kid," students often felt compelled to live up to it.

Wopat remembers one boy in particular who struggled with anger. Other students would provoke him just to watch him lose control.

"I would see him after he exploded, and he was so regretful and sad," says Wopat. "There's a lot of research about how adults' reactions to boys in early grades can shape their self-esteem."

Instead of reacting with frustration, Wopat met the student with empathy and curiosity. She took time to understand what he was dealing with and reflected back to him not anger, but kindness. That connection stuck, and the two still keep in touch today.

Giving a voice to the 'bad kid'

Now Wopat is sharing that message more broadly through her newest book, "Overruled," to be released Nov. 15. Written for ages 8-12, the story follows Mac, a boy blamed for pushing a classmate off the monkey bars - even though no one saw what happened. His teacher, Mrs. Justice, decides to hold a classroom mock trial to uncover the truth. What the students discover isn't Mac's guilt, but the complexity behind who he really is.

"The dedication in the book is to my students," says Wopat. "If you've been forced to fit in a box, remember - boxes can break."

Drawing from her 20-plus years as a teacher, Wopat wanted to create a story for all the kids who feel limited by labels. She'll take vacation from her role at UWL this fall to visit schools, share the book, and talk with middle schoolers about writing, self-perception and empathy.

"I'm excited because I miss the kids!" she says. "We'll talk about writing, and about how judging others can keep us from really seeing them."

Finding healing through writing

Wopat's journey as an author began in heartbreak. In 2009, she lost her infant twins, Sophie and Aiden. Searching the library shelves and even Google for guidance, she found nothing that could help and no honest account that matched her grief.

So she started blogging. Through her writing, she connected with others who had also lost babies. The community that formed in the comments of those blogs - people sharing emotions too heavy for family or friends - became her lifeline.

Those raw reflections became her first book, "Almost a Mother: Love, Loss, and Finding Your People When Your Baby Dies." The memoir earned the Norbert Blei/August Derleth Nonfiction Book Award , given to the best nonfiction book by a Wisconsin writer in the contest year.

"I wanted people to not feel alone," says Wopat. "I felt really alone. These stories are from my heart. They're meant to help people feel seen - and even make them laugh."

Since then, Wopat has written two additional books on infant loss - "After All" and "Always Ours," a picture book - and now, her middle-grade novel "Overruled." Her openness has led to speaking engagements at conferences, workshops and classrooms around the world, and a role helping others find healing through storytelling.

Continuing to teach and connect

After 21 years as a middle school French and fourth-grade teacher, Wopat joined UWL's School of Education in June 2024. As a field experience coordinator and communication specialist, she still sees herself as an educator at heart.

Her writing has also led to meaningful connections on campus, including with UWL Head Women's Basketball Coach Moran Lonning, who lost her infant son, Charlie "Bubba," in 2024. Wopat now helps support events that Lonning is organizing for Bubba's Fund, which is a Donor Advised Fund through the La Crosse Area Community Foundation, with the mission to turn unimaginable loss into a powerful legacy of life-saving tools, joyful play and lasting impact for children.

At the upcoming Bubba's Youth Night on Jan. 10, 2026, basketball players will wear jerseys honoring infants who have died - including Sophie and Aiden, whose names will appear on one of the jerseys - raising awareness for pregnancy and infant loss.

Reflecting on her journey, Wopat says writing has helped her process grief and reconnect with her purpose.

"It works for me - writing, talking about it, feeling seen," she says. "At my core, I'm still that teacher who wants to help people understand each other. I still just want to tell stories."