How to relax without turning to alcohol

Alcohol has become a culturally accepted activity for relaxation and to ease stress and overwhelm. Movies, television, memes, and social media glamorize and normalize pouring a drink as an essential part of adult life.

In the moment, alcohol can feel like a solution to unwind after a long day, offering temporary relief from racing thoughts or emotional pressure.

But Paola Vidauri Luna, LMFT and Clinical Therapist II at Loma Linda University Behavioral Health, says that the relief from alcohol is often short-lived and misleading.

"Alcohol doesn't resolve stress or anxiety; it only postpones them. When the effects wear off, the stress is still there, often louder than before," Vidauri Luna warns.

"Many people wake up feeling more anxious, more irritable, and less emotionally resilient."

In the long term, turning to alcohol to relax trains the body to believe that relief can only come from an external substance, which can keep people stuck in dangerous and unhealthy habits.

How alcohol rewires the nervous system

When alcohol is used repeatedly as a stress-relief tool, it begins to reshape how the nervous system responds to discomfort.

Initially, turning to alcohol to relax or numb stress can feel helpful, but the nervous system is adaptive, and the body learns to associate stress with drinking.

"The more alcohol is used to regulate emotions, the less capable the body becomes at regulating on its own. Natural calming responses weaken, and signals of safety become harder to recognize," Vidauri Luna says.

This can show up as the following:

• Increased anxiety

• Irritability

• Emotional reactivity

• Emotional disconnection

• Overstimulation

• Disrupted sleep

• Appetite changes

• Difficulty focusing

• Exhaustion

• Frequent mood swing

Eventually, stress itself can trigger alcohol cravings because the brain has learned to associate the two. This creates a loop: stress leads to drinking, drinking leads to a crash, and the crash leads to more stress.

Navigating social situations without alcohol

For many people, alcohol helps with underlying anxiety, insecurity, or fear of judgment in social situations. Learning to regulate without alcohol can feel uncomfortable at first, but it's how the nervous system relearns balance.

"The first step is to know your environment. Pay attention to the people you surround yourself with. Are they supportive of your boundaries, or do they pressure you to drink? If boundaries are repeatedly dismissed, it's worth questioning whether that space is serving you," Vidauri Luna says.

Additionally, before social events, grounding techniques can help regulate your nervous system, including breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or simply reminding yourself of your goals. If going alone feels overwhelming, bring someone supportive who understands your boundaries.

Holding a non-alcoholic drink can also help by giving your hands something to do. And remember: you don't owe anyone an explanation. "I'm good" or "I'm not drinking tonight" is enough. Persistent pressure reflects others' discomfort, not your responsibility.

Most importantly, give yourself permission to leave. You are never obligated to stay in a space that feels unsafe or draining.

Alcohol-free ways to unwind

True relaxation isn't about numbing out; it's about regulation. The goal is to move from overstimulation to grounded calm, without negative consequences later.

"Effective alternatives look different for everyone. For some, it's walking, journaling, cooking, painting, or spending time in nature. For others, it's gardening, watching a favorite show, or engaging in a hobby that helps them mentally unplug. What matters is choosing something that restores rather than depletes," Vidauri Luna says.

Small rituals can also make a big difference. A warm meal, a favorite song, a comfort show, a soft hoodie, or a quiet drive can all signal safety to the brain. These cues tell the nervous system that the day is over and it's okay to rest.

Sensory tools can also help interrupt stress spirals: cold water on the face, sour candy, stepping outside for fresh air. These techniques reset the nervous system, but they should be followed by a coping skill like deep breathing, stretching, journaling, or grounding exercises.

And above all, allow yourself to rest. "Rest is not laziness. It's essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup," Vidauri Luna says.

For those who need additional support, the Behavioral Medicine Center can offer hope during recovery. For more information, visit our website here or call us at 909-558-9277.