The three pillars of recovery when navigating social situations

Navigating social situations in recovery can be one of the more challenging yet empowering changes towards healing and strong recovery. During this time, individuals are faced with important changes that are key to building social success.

For many, learning how to navigate and manage social situations is one of the toughest parts of alcohol and substance recovery, especially in the first six months.

Many individuals who drink or use substances often intertwine those habits with their social lives, surrounding themselves with friends, places, and activities centered around addiction. Often, recovery can emphasize the lack of healthy outlets or safe spaces for socializing.

Ghazaleh Shafee, a Clinical Therapist at Loma Linda University Behavioral Health, says that recovery is not about avoiding life, but instead learning to live differently.

"In recovery, we often talk about people, places, and things, which are the pillars of change essential to long-term sobriety," Shafee says.

Learning to navigate social situations through the guidance of the three pillars can help ease the challenges of recovery.

People

One of the biggest challenges in early recovery is the potential trigger of loneliness and boredom.

"People feel like they've lost their community and no longer know how to form healthy connections," Shafee says. "This is especially true for those who used to isolate themselves to drink or use alone."

In early recovery, it might feel like you don't have many sober friends to connect with. This is where recovery meetings become especially valuable. Meetings provide a safe and healthy space to connect and build relationships with others in sobriety.

However, in the world outside the familiarity of recovery meetings, people may be less accepting or willing to accommodate needs. This is why reevaluating your social circle is a vital step in recovery.

Since so much of social life now happens on smartphones, Shafee recommends reviewing your contacts and social media connections, keeping only genuine friends and removing "using friends" who may threaten your recovery. If social media proves too much of a trigger, limiting usage or stepping away entirely can also be helpful.

Building a sober social life is also an opportunity to rediscover lost hobbies or explore healthy outlets, both of which are great tools in creating a sober experience.

"Hiking, going to the beach, or simply spending time outdoors, without the expectation of bringing alcohol or substances, can help redefine what fun looks like," Shafee says. "Doing these activities with other sober individuals reinforces accountability and connection.

Read: Navigating triggers and cravings in addiction recovery

Places

One of the most common questions Shafee hears is how to handle social events where alcohol will be present, such as barbecues, birthdays, holidays, work events, and other celebrations. Her advice is to always enter these situations with a plan.

"Have an exit strategy," she said. "Attend long enough to be present, but don't feel pressured to stay too long, as extended exposure to triggers can increase cravings."

Also, being able to identify less obvious triggers is essential in maintaining recovery. Subtle triggers are unique to everyone but can be as simple as the smell of a certain location, the sound of glass clinking, or driving past a familiar place of indulgence.

"Relapse can be tied to the senses," Shafee said. "That's why self-awareness and mindfulness of your surroundings are essential tools in maintaining recovery."

The same principle applies to daily routines. For example, Shafee says that if your regular route home takes you past a liquor store you once stopped at, it may help to adjust your path.

Shifting your surroundings and making small changes, like grocery shopping at a different store or driving a new route to and from work, can make a meaningful difference in your recovery journey.

Read: How to practice self-care in long-term recovery

Things

Triggers in recovery can sometimes be the most ordinary things.

Recognizing the items in your own home or workspace that can act as a penitential trigger is an important step in recovery. Once identified, even small, intentional changes to your environment can create a safer space.

"A favorite chair you've always come home to after a stressful day at work might be a powerful reminder of drinking if that's where you used to sit and have a drink," Shafee says.

The solution isn't about replacing everything in your home. Instead, it can be as simple as moving that chair to a different part of the room or adding a new pillow to change how you relate to it. Small adjustments can shift the mental connection and reduce the power of the trigger.

While early recovery can feel lonely and overwhelming at times, the three pillars -- people, places, and things -- can be helpful in setting goals and boundaries in social situations. It is also a helpful tool to introduce routines that can involve new hobbies, friends, and places to go.

"Addiction often strips away structure, so rebuilding it becomes essential," she says.

If you or a loved one is struggling with an addiction, visit our website to learn more about taking the first steps toward a healthier version of you.