Parents Circle – Families Forum encourages people to listen with empathy

In a Saturday morning session at the AFT convention, delegates and guests from international unions learned about resources that will help them foster empathetic, meaningful dialogues-and hopefully reduce the growing polarization in the United States. The session featured a conversation with Robi Damelin, an 80-year-old Israeli mother, and Mohamed Abu Jafar, an intensive care nurse from Palestine, who are tied together by the grief of losing a loved one because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It was moderated by Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, the former longtime spiritual leader of Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York City (and wife of AFT President Randi Weingarten).

In a world that is so deeply divided, where people struggle to see humanity in each other, Damelin and Abu Jafar spoke about the importance of listening with empathy and understanding. This is part of their work with the Parents Circle - Families Forum, a grassroots organization of Palestinian and Israeli families who have lost family members in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The AFT has partnered with PCFF to adapt its program Listening from the Heart for Share My Lesson. PCFF created the program to help communities foster transformational conversations about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that will help with compassion and reconciliation.

The partnership with the AFT's Share My Lesson brings what they have learned about fostering such difficult, deeply human dialogues to the U.S. context. As we face greater polarization, we should see that if families immersed in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can find a path forward, then we can do the same in our own communities-whether we are dealing with racial, political or cultural divides. The Listening from the Heart resources on Share My Lesson offer videos, discussion guides and trainings to bring to life human stories of loss, hope and reconciliation. Educators can use these tools to help students build empathy and have discussions about complex issues. Union and community leaders can use them too, fostering thoughtful, empathetic conversations anywhere greater understanding is needed.

Remarking on the importance of this partnership, AFT President Randi Weingarten said, "We are very dedicated to this notion that you alleviate fear by creating understanding."

Kleinbaum agreed, explaining that "It doesn't mean everybody is going to agree on everything. … But there is no future that is not a shared future in some form."

Sharing loss, sharing humanity

In 2002, Damelin's son David was fatally shot by a Palestinian sniper while he was at a checkpoint during his army reserve service. In that same year, Abu Jafar's younger brother was killed by Israeli tank fire. Both have used their pain to talk about ways we can advocate for reconciliation and restorative justice.

Before PCFF, Abu Jafar only knew Israelis as soldiers. One day, a few years after his brother was killed, he came home to find two Israeli women at his house with his mother-one was Damelin. They were from PCFF. His mother found value in their approach of listening and empathizing, but Abu Jafar was skeptical.

At his first PCFF meeting, Abu Jafar found it nearly impossible to stay in the same room with a former Israeli soldier. Then, as the participants shared details about their lives, the former soldier said he was a peace activist. For Abu Jafar, it was a transformational moment: "For the first time in my life, I saw Israelis as human beings." Abu Jafar says he understood that this former soldier was "fighting for people to have their freedom, and this is what changed my life." He's been active with PCFF ever since.

While being open about how they have struggled with grief, Abu Jafar and Damelin both offered messages of hope. "In this world of polarization and side-taking," Damelin said, "surely it is time to be part of the solution and not the problem."

[Alvin Buyinza/Photo credit: Alexandra Palombo]