It Could Happen to You: Romance Scams

Imagine this: You're a widowed senior, deciding to pursue love once more. You join a dating site, match up, and quickly hit it off with a fellow senior. Your new beau makes you feel important, appreciated, and safe, and suggests you both move the conversation from the dating app to a secure, encrypted messaging service.

There, you talk, share photos, and grow closer. After just a few weeks, he confesses that he loves you. It's been so long since you've felt special to someone. When you've been chatting for a month, your date confesses that he's in a bit of trouble.

He works as an engineer, and has some equipment stuck in customs. Is there any way you could send him money to cover the customs fees? Sympathetic, you agree, and send money to his company's bank account. A week later, another request for money comes in: this time, he's injured and needs help covering hospital bills. A little bit later, another request-he needs something shipped to his job site.

At this point, you've given him more than $50,000, and something doesn't feel right. When you tell your bank, they tell you you've encountered what's known as a Romance Scam. The person you were talking to wasn't real, the photos he sent you were probably stock photos, his company was made up, and it's likely you'll never be able to recoup what you've lost.

This scenario is based on a real customer story, and it could happen to you or your loved ones. Anyone can fall victim to a scam.

So, how did this scammer gain his target's trust so easily? Here's how he used social engineering to build a sense of commitment and obligation:

1. Created Emotional Connection Quickly
   He sent affectionate and sweet messages, making his target feel valued and cared for, which is common in romance scams.
2. Moved Communication to a Private Channel
   By shifting from the dating app to a private messaging service, he made the interaction feel more personal and exclusive, reinforcing intimacy.
3. Shared Photos to Appear Genuine
   He exchanged pictures, giving the illusion of authenticity and a real identity.
4. Provided a Professional Backstory
   He claimed to work in a field which sounded credible and respectable, which made other parts of his story seem more legitimate.
5. Expressed Love Early
   Within two weeks, he confessed he was in love, creating a strong emotional bond and sense of commitment.

So how can you protect yourself, or your loved ones, from potential romance scams? Here are a few tips to remember and to share with seniors and loved ones:

• Be wary of relationships that progress too quickly. Saying "I love you" and suggesting future plans within days or a couple of weeks are a red flag.
• Exercise caution over requests to move to private platforms, or over repeated excuses for not meeting in person.
• Reverse image-search any photos and look up people online.
• Ask for real-time communication, such as video chats.
• Encourage conversations with loved ones, creating an open and accepting place to talk about new relationships.
• Offer to look at a new connection's profile with your loved ones together.
• Never send money to someone you haven't met in person.

If you or a loved one are victims of a romance scam, report it immediately to your bank and to the authorities. If a senior is involved, contact the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 1833FRAUD11.