Study: How Co-Parenting Makes Mealtimes with Preschoolers Peaceful

Wrangling active preschoolers to sit for a peaceful, uninterrupted meal can be stressful for parents, but a new study by University of Texas at Dallas researchers shows that parents who work together can create calmer mealtimes and that fathers in particular play a key role.

Led by Dr. Jackie Nelson, associate professor of psychology in the School of Behavioral and Brain Sciences, the research examined the way children's physical activity affects how parents cooperate during meals. The study, which focused on how parents ask their children to change their behavior and how these requests influence eating habits, was published in the May issue of Developmental Psychology.

Nelson said the study is distinctive because it integrates research on child motor development, parental feeding practices and co-parenting dynamics to understand family mealtime environments.

"It's typical for preschoolers to be very physically active as they build balance and coordination and gain confidence in their bodies," she said. "It's a challenging developmental period for feeding, and providing structure is important - a time and place to sit down and focus with limited distractions."

The research group used video recordings of mealtime co-parenting, rather than parental surveys, to assess behaviors objectively of each parent.

"Many studies on co-parenting have looked only at parents' perceptions of how supported they felt by their partner," Nelson said. "In this study, we had an objective team rating video-recorded interactions between parents as they supported or undermined each other's feeding efforts."

For seven consecutive days, 65 two-parent families with a 3- to 5-year-old child were studied during home dinners with mothers and fathers present. The researchers rated children's activity level at dinner and parents' prompts for activity change, such as requests to sit down or stay still. They also rated the degree to which parents verbally pressured the child to eat and the nature of the parents' interactions with each other during feeding.

"In general, we observed that parents seem to be able to deal with sporadic high-energy moments in a functional way by working together," Nelson said. "However, if there is persistent, high physical activity - an everyday challenge - they are more likely to undermine each other. Stressed-out parents may find it harder to work together well as they become less patient and less likely to cooperate."

"In general, we observed that parents seem to be able to deal with sporadic high-energy moments in a functional way by working together. However, if there is persistent, high physical activity - an everyday challenge - they are more likely to undermine each other."

Dr. Jackie Nelson, associate professor of psychology in the School of Behavioral and Brain Sciences

Fathers were more likely to prompt behavior changes in active children. These prompts were linked to more supportive cooperation between parents. Fathers who urged their children to eat led to more supportive, balanced co-parenting, possibly reflecting greater mealtime engagement, but it was not related to children's activity level. In short, fathers responded to active children by asking them to sit, not by pressuring them to eat more.

"When fathers engage in helping to manage behavior, that tended to lead to parents working together more adaptively," Nelson said. "It's a nice illustration of how moms are typically more responsible for mealtime: Fathers asking kids to sit still was linked to more supportive co-parenting, while mothers asking kids to sit still wasn't."

Nelson said her team's findings reinforce previous studies that have linked parents working together with consistent messaging with both marital satisfaction and healthier eating habits for children.

"Preschoolers are developing the ability to regulate themselves and figuring out where the boundaries are," she said. "They need scaffolding to do that. It can be confusing for children when the messaging is inconsistent - either across time from the same parent or across caregivers. Our videos showed that families with supportive, cooperative co-parenting seem to enjoy being around each other during meals."

Nelson encouraged parents to be mindful of how young children's rambunctious physical activity, which is developmentally appropriate, influences their own behavior - both toward the child and their partner.

Other authors of the study were Mariam Hafiz BS'19, MS'22, PhD'25, Melissa Heinrich PhD'25, Elizabeth Nuth MS'25, and Dr. Shayla Holub, associate professor and department head of psychology. The research was funded by the Jerry M. Lewis, M.D. Mental Health Research Foundation.

The next step in the research, funded by a National Science Foundation grant, involves transcribing the videos and gathering additional data from multigenerational families to understand better how the language environment affects children's language acquisition and development.

Media Contact: Stephen Fontenot, UT Dallas, 972-883-4405, [email protected], or the Office of Media Relations, UT Dallas, (972) 883-2155, [email protected].