Mayor's Message - Sept 18, 2025

"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde

Every week, I try to pause and reflect on something that seems to be tugging at the edges of our collective awareness. Lately, I have found myself wondering: Why does it feel so much harder today to respectfully disagree with one another? Have you noticed that people today seem quicker to argue and slower to listen? If so, then you are not alone in your thinking. I remember a time-thirty or forty years ago, when we could hold different political or social views and still find common ground. Today, our public discourse feels more polarized, personal and impatient. So, what has happened over those thirty or forty years? Why does discourse that once sparked conversation, now result in conflict?

So, what has changed, is it the media, social media, or have we changed? While there may be so single cause, I would like to explore a few key shifts that might help explain this change, and some ideas that may help us find our way back.

In the 1980s and 1990s. most of us received our news from a few central sources: the evening TV news, the local newspaper, and perhaps a national magazine. Whether it was Walter Cronkite or Peter Jennings, the news was presented with an attempt, however imperfect, at objectivity. These outlets were limited in number, curated by editors, and operated under journalistic standards that emphasized impartiality, even if not always achieved.

Fast forward, and today's media landscape is unrecognizable in comparison. Cable news exploded in the 1990's, and now we live in an era of 24/7 news cycles, with stations often leaning visibly toward a particular political or cultural perspective. As media outlets compete for attention, sensationalism and outrage can become the tools for engagement-which leads to more emotionally charged reporting and less nuance. In short, we are no longer all reading or watching the same things, and the content we do consume is often designed to conform to our beliefs, not to challenge them.

Then came social media; at first, these platforms promised connection, and in many ways, they delivered. But over time, they also created "echo chambers." Algorithms now feed us more of what we already agree with, and less of what challenges us. We scroll through curated feeds filled with people who think like we do, making opposing views nor just unfamiliar, but threatening. Due to the fact that social media encourages fast, emotional reactions, civil discourse is often replaced with snark, sarcasm,

or outright hostility. As author Jonathan Haidt put bluntly, "social media turns disagreement into moral battles and dissent into betrayal."

I remember when it used to be more common to have nuanced views; you could be a fiscal conservative, but a social liberal. You could vote one way, without demonizing people who voted the opposite way. Today, it feels like we are being pulled to the extremes. Moderate, thoughtful perspectives get drowned out; not because they are less valid, but because they are less loud. When we lose the middle, we lose the bridge between "us" and "them."

While I am no expert, there are several ideas I would like to share that may work to diminish our polarization. First, be curious, not combative; ask questions such as "what led you to that view? Or we can try to diversify our sources of information. Several years ago, I attended a panel at Downers Grove South, and was asked by a junior government student how we could go about ending the polarization in our society. Among other points, I suggested they read news from across the political spectrum; suggesting that even if you don't agree with it, it will give you a better understanding of opposing views. Then there is the idea of breaking away from social media; "Step away from the screen," have a real conversation. Listen with curiosity, not with comment. Finally, practice what we preach; if we want more respect in public life, we need show it with our neighbors, co-workers and even family members.

I am not suggesting we erase our differences; disagreement is essential in a free society, but disagreement without respect leads to nowhere, We cannot control the media or social media, but we can control how we engage with one another, and maybe, just maybe, if we start listening a little more and labeling a little less, we can recover some of the grace and goodwill that once allowed us to live, work and thrive alongside those whom we didn't always see eye to eye. We might find that we haven't lost the art of civil discourse, we have just let it get buried under the noise.