As a Death Doula, Rutgers Graduate Student Brings Peace to End-of-Life Care

When you're born, there are caregivers to help bring you into this world.

And when you die, Diana Griebell believes there should be caregivers to help you leave it.

Griebell, 57, who is graduating in May from Rutgers-New Brunswick School of Social Work with a master's degree in social work and certification in aging and health, has been providing end-of-life care as a certified death doula since 2020.

Much like a birth doula - a non-medical professional who offers physical and emotional support to an expectant parent before, during, and shortly after childbirth - a death doula provides that level of care for a person and their family as the end of their life approaches.

The goal, said Griebell, who founded Tranquil Transitioning in 2021, is to help a person achieve "a good death," by creating the environment they and their loved ones need to be at peace when their time comes. But while birth doulas have become more commonplace in recent years, hers is a role few are familiar with. That's because of the stigma surrounding death in our society, said Griebell.

"People used to decline and die at home. Little kids would see them. Friends would see them on the couch. It was an everyday occurrence," she said. "Since healthcare became more sophisticated, death turned into something closed off and separated. People wanted to shield themselves or young children from death, as if it's a bad thing. It became isolating for the person dying. When they need people the most, everyone is very uncomfortable. They don't know what to do and can panic."

Griebell's introduction to end-of-life care in 2018 was accidental. While accompanying her then- 16-year-old daughter to a memory care facility where the teenage harpist was providing music therapy for the residents, a staff member asked if they would be comfortable sitting with a woman who was actively dying alone.

"I had never seen someone dying before. We all sat down in this woman's room. My daughter started playing, and something magical happened," Griebell said. "I saw the staff member holding this woman's hand and whispering in her ear nice, positive words. All I was doing was sitting observing it all. Something felt so right. It was this beautiful experience. I never thought death could be this way."

It was a "lifechanging" experience for the mother of two from Princeton, N.J., who previously worked in insurance and real estate. At her daughter's suggestion, she researched the certification process for becoming a death doula, a term she hadn't heard before then.

"Many end-of-life doulas have always been very curious about death. Even at a young age, I've always found death interesting and fascinating. I used to think I could go into the funeral business," Griebell said. "But at the same time, I never had the strength or courage to pursue something like that until it naturally came to me."

She completed a three-day intensive training in New York City with the International End-of-Life Doula Association in January of 2020, and the University of Vermont's 8-week online End-of- Life Care Program with her daughter in May of 2020. Since then, she has assisted about a dozen families, including her own, with the death of a loved one.

In 2022, when her father, Forrest Norberg, was nearing the end of his life, the family decided to travel to their cabin in Maine to spend his final days.

"I guided my family. It was the most special, intimate moment with me, my sister and mother while my dad was dying," she said. "He loved nature. We set his bed up to look right out at his yard. We brought in snow and pine branches, so he had the scent of nature. We made lavender water, and my mom washed his hands and feet after he passed."

The more she worked with those nearing the end of their lives, the more Griebell wanted to learn about the grieving process and how to better guide people through it. Her desire to bridge holistic and spiritual knowledge with clinical expertise led her to Rutgers to study social work.

"There are so many issues from a biopsychosocial perspective," she said. "The caregivers and families I tend to need a lot of therapy because this can be very traumatic, and I wasn't able to help them in an additional way."

She started at Rutgers remotely in 2024, but after two online classes decided to switch to in-person so she could work directly with her peers and professors. As a non-traditional student, Griebell said she craved the buzz of campus life and camaraderie of fellow students.

During her practicum as a chaplain at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital's Spiritual Care Department, she said her experience as a death doula complemented her coursework. She cared for dozens of patients - and their loved ones - who died during emergencies or while on comfort care and hospice. The work reinforced her decision to remain in end-of-life care, either working in hospice, palliative care or aging health, after graduating.

"Diana is an absolute gem, just so thoughtful and intentional," said Lauren Snedeker, assistant professor of social work, director of the Aging and Health Certificate and core faculty member at the Hub for Aging Collaboration. "It's wonderful to see her passion and dedication to age-inclusive social work practice and thinking about ways to ensure folks are living throughout their stages of life with good support as well as thinking about ways to ensure someone has a good death."