Social media tips for parents - Children's National

Your teenager just asked you if she can start an Instagram account. What should you do? We've put together some social media tips for parents to help you and your kids navigate the online world.

It's okay for your teen to be online

We've all heard the horror stories of kids being bullied on social media or friending sexual predators pretending to be kids. But it really is okay for your teen to be online. In fact, online relationships are part of typical adolescent development. Social media can support teens as they explore and discover more about themselves and their place in the grown-up world by giving them access to communities they might not find locally.

So, talk to your teen about why they want to be on social media and help them find safe ways to get these benefits both online and offline.

However, just like how you might teach them to drive, think of a list of things you'd like to teach them about social media or rules you'd like to establish before allowing them to have an account. Keep lines of communication open and let them know you're there if they have questions or concerns. This may take several rounds of discussions and that's okay.

Teaching kids how to be safe online

Many teens need to be reminded that a platform's privacy settings do not actually make things "private" and that images, thoughts and behaviors teens share online will instantly become part of their digital footprint indefinitely. Teens need to know that once content is shared with others, they will not be able to delete or remove it completely. This includes texting inappropriate pictures. Teach your kids how to balance how much they share about themselves online.

Teens may also not know about or choose not to use privacy settings and they need to be warned that sex offenders often use social networking, chat rooms, email and online gaming to contact and exploit children. Make sure your kids know about identity theft and false identity.

Ask your kids if they've ever seen anything disturbing or concerning online. Inform them that social media algorithms will continue to show them that type of content if they've engaged with it because they cannot differentiate between "good" and "bad" content. Teach them how to block unwanted content so they can have a more positive experience on these apps.

Find an appropriate balance

It's important for teens to balance healthy and essential activities such as sleep, exercise, learning and family time with digital consumption. You can help them do this by discussing what activities need to be prioritized daily and then budgeting for social media and screen time through the use of a family media plan.

The media plan should include clear boundaries about what media is allowed and what is not and should include all members of the family, including yourself. Educate your teens that social media applications are designed to keep people scrolling and that we all need reminders to put our phones away.

One way to set these limits is within the apps themselves and by tracking usage time. To help your teen get over the fear of missing out, have them block or silence notifications from social media when they're studying, hanging out with friends or family, at school or doing something else in the "real world."

You can also create media-free zones, such as during mealtimes and at bedtime, and set aside specific days or hours as media-free periods.

Be a good role model

Teens tend to do what they see rather than what you say. So, if you spend all your time looking at Instagram, chances are your teen will too. Be a good role model and limit your time on social media and screens. Try to follow the same rules for media-free times as your children. Feel free to share some of your experiences with social media and how it can affect you as well.

Remember: Kids will be kids

Kids will make mistakes using social media. Try to handle errors with empathy and turn mistakes into teachable moments. However, some indiscretions, such as sexting, bullying or posting self-harm images, may be a red flag that hints at trouble ahead. It's important that you carefully observe your child's behavior and, if needed, enlist supportive professional help, including your pediatrician.